Romance Scam: What to Do If You Sent Money (or Think You're Being Scammed)

Someone you met online says it’s true love but can’t meet in person, and now they need money for an emergency, a plane ticket, customs fees or medical bills (FTC, FTC). That’s the classic romance scam, and the FTC’s rule is simple: “Never send money or gifts to a sweetheart you haven’t met in person.” Here’s what to do if you already paid or sent photos, how to spot the red flags, how to help a loved one, and how to report it.

What to do if you’ve been romance scammed

1. Stop sending money and stop replying. Stop communicating with the person immediately, the FTC advises (FTC). You don’t have to tell them you’re reporting them: in one case the FBI describes, a victim who said they’d file an FBI report was later contacted by a fake FBI agent (FBI IC3).
2. Save the evidence before you block anyone. Take screenshots of the profile and your chats, and keep receipts for wires, gift cards and crypto. The FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) counts chat transcripts and payment receipts as evidence and asks you to keep originals in a safe place (IC3).
3. Call the company you used to pay, right away. Tell them you paid a scammer and ask for a refund (FTC). Steps for each payment method are below.
4. Report the profile to the dating app or social network where you met (FTC). That can get the scammer’s profile removed and protect other people, says Homeland Security Investigations (HSI).
5. Report it to the FTC and the FBI. See “How to report a romance scammer,” below.
6. Talk to someone you trust (FTC). HSI has a message for victims: “You are a victim, and it is not your fault” (HSI). If you’re in crisis, call 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, any time (OVC).

Can you get your money back from a romance scammer?

Often not. If you send money to a romance scammer, “it’s probably gone forever,” the FTC says (FTC). Still, it’s always worth asking the company you used (FTC). Move fast:

How you paid	What to do
Gift cards	Call the company at the number on the back of the card. Say a scammer tricked you into giving them the card number and PIN, and ask for a refund. Keep the card and receipt (FTC). More: gift card scams.
Wire transfer company, like Western Union or MoneyGram	Report it right away, say a scammer tricked you into sending money, and ask for a refund (FTC).
Wire from your bank	Ask your bank for a recall of the funds and a hold harmless letter (FBI IC3). “Time is of the essence” (2025 IC3 report).
Zelle, bank transfer or payment app	Report it immediately and ask the bank or app to reverse the payment (FTC). More: Zelle.
Credit or debit card	Call the number on the back of your card and ask for a refund (FTC).
Cryptocurrency	Tell the exchange or crypto ATM operator it was fraud, and ask it to reverse the transaction (FTC). More: Bitcoin ATM scams.

Whatever the amount, report it to IC3 with full transaction details: IC3 may be able to help banks and law enforcement freeze funds (2025 IC3 report).

Sent photos or personal information?

• Photos. Some romance scammers trick people into sending nude photos, then threaten to send them to their social media contacts unless they pay (FTC, 2026). Paying doesn’t guarantee they won’t share them (FBI). If someone is trying to extort you, report it to the FBI (FTC). Full steps: what to do about sextortion.
• Your Social Security number. If a scammer used it, report it at IdentityTheft.gov and get a recovery plan (FTC). More: I gave a scammer my Social Security number.
• Bank or card details. Check your statements for unusual activity, and consider changing account details or freezing your credit reports (HSI). See how to freeze your credit.
• A password. Create a new, strong one, and turn on two-factor authentication (FTC).

How romance scams work

It can start on a dating site, with a friend request on social media, or in a chat on a gaming site. Then comes a flood of attention, and they want to talk every day (FTC). Soon they want to email, call or message you off the platform (FTC). After weeks or months of building trust, they tell a false story and ask for money (OVC).

In 2025, nearly 60% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam said it started on social media (FTC, 2026).

The lies romance scammers tell

What they say	Share of 2022 reports	What to know
“I or someone close to me is sick, hurt or in jail”	24%	“Sad stories are usually scam stories” (FTC).
“I can teach you how to invest”	18%	Any money you “invest” goes straight into their wallet (FTC). See pig butchering scams.
“I’m in the military far away”	18%	Service members never have to pay to get packages, food, medical treatment or leave (FTC).
“I need help with an important delivery”	18%	If someone tells you to send money to receive a package, “you can bet it’s a scam” (FTC).
“We’ve never met, but let’s talk about marriage”	12%	Some scammers even pretend to plan weddings (FTC).
“I’m on an oil rig or ship”	6%	Search the job plus “scammer,” like “oil rig scammer” (FTC).

Shares come from 8,070 romance scam reports from 2022 that included a loss and a detailed story (FTC Data Spotlight, February 2023).

How big the problem is

In 2022, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam to the FTC, with $1.3 billion in reported losses and a median loss of $4,400 (FTC). In 2025, IC3 received 23,159 complaints about confidence or romance fraud, with $929 million in losses. People 60 and older reported $584 million of it. The FBI’s category also includes grandparent scams (2025 IC3 report).

In 2022, gift cards were the payment method people reported most often: 24% of people who reported losing money to a romance scam said they paid that way (FTC). But crypto and bank wires made up more than 60% of the money reported lost to romance scams in 2022 (FTC).

How to know if you’re being romance scammed: red flags

HSI lists these warning signs (HSI):

• They say they live, work or travel abroad. The FTC’s examples: in the military, on an oil rig, or working with an international organization (FTC).
• They quickly say they love you.
• They make excuses to avoid video calls, or you can’t see their face clearly on one.
• They want to move your chats to a separate app. Scammers push to leave dating platforms to avoid the sites’ detection controls.
• They ask for money, often in crypto or gift cards. Some ask for a loan or access to your accounts (CFPB).
• They ask if you’ve ever invested in crypto (see pig butchering scams).
• They send or ask for explicit photos or videos.
• They get combative when you question them.
• Your bank contacts you, worried you’re being victimized. HSI calls that “perhaps the most significant red flag.”

Also watch for plans to meet that always get canceled (FTC, 2026) and pressure to keep the relationship quiet (FTC).

Two quick checks from the FTC: do a reverse image search of their profile picture, and search their job plus “scammer.” If the photo is linked to another name, or the details don’t match, those are signs of a scam (FTC).

Don’t count on typos to give a scammer away. The FBI says criminals use AI to cut spelling and grammar errors, create realistic profile photos, and even make videos to “prove” they’re a real person (FBI).

My mom or dad is being romance scammed: how to help

Scammers may try to isolate people by insisting on their silence (FTC). These steps from official sources can help:

• Leave out the blame. “Anyone can fall victim to a romance scam, regardless of age, education or intelligence,” HSI says (HSI).
• Check the facts together. Run the reverse image search and the job-plus-“scammer” search side by side (FTC).
• Share the official warnings. The FTC tells people to pay attention if friends or family are concerned about a new love interest (FTC), and its Pass It On page is made to be shared. People may feel embarrassed, the FTC notes, but a simple “Look what I just found” may make a difference (FTC).
• Take the bank’s warning seriously. If their bank has raised concerns, that’s the red flag HSI calls “perhaps the most significant” (HSI).
• Report it for them. You can file an IC3 complaint on behalf of someone else (IC3). If an older loved one can’t speak for themselves, case managers at the National Elder Fraud Hotline can help you fill out IC3 and FTC complaints (OVC).
• Worried about an older or vulnerable adult? Adult Protective Services agencies receive and investigate reports of suspected exploitation. Find yours through the Eldercare Locator, 800-677-1116 (CFPB).

How to report a romance scammer

1. FTC: ReportFraud.ftc.gov (FTC), or call 1-877-FTC-HELP (1-877-382-4357) (FTC).
2. FBI’s IC3: file at IC3.gov, regardless of the amount lost (2025 IC3 report). Type the address yourself instead of using a search engine (FBI IC3). Save or print a copy before you close the page, because IC3 won’t send you one. You also won’t hear back from IC3 (IC3). More: what happens after you file at IC3.
3. The app or site where you met (FTC).
4. Local police (HSI).
5. 60 or older, or helping someone who is? Call the National Elder Fraud Hotline, 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311), Monday to Friday, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Eastern, in English, Spanish and other languages (OVC).

HSI also takes tips about possible romance scams at 877-4-HSI-TIP, and callers may stay anonymous (HSI). The report-a-scam tool and the scam recovery checklist help you keep track.

Watch for the follow-up scam

• “Recovery” offers. Scammers buy lists of people who’ve paid scammers. Government agencies and legitimate organizations will never ask for money to help you get a refund (FTC).
• Fake FBI or IC3 contacts. IC3 never contacts people directly by phone, email or social media, and never asks for payment to recover lost funds (FBI IC3, July 2026).
• Money or packages to pass along. Romance scammers often get victims to receive money or goods and forward them (DOJ). Don’t forward money for an online love interest: if you help move stolen money, even without knowing it, you could get into legal trouble. Already involved? Stop the transaction, stop talking to them and tell your bank. If a scammer has your bank account information, close the account right away (FTC). Got a check? See I deposited a fake check.

What varies

• How you paid. Crypto payments don’t have the legal protections that credit and debit cards have, so it can be hard to get your money back (FTC).
• Your bank or payment company. Policies differ, so ask what help yours offers (2025 IC3 report).
• Your state. Some states have passed laws on crypto payments that might help (FTC).
• Your age. The Elder Fraud Hotline serves people 60 and older (OVC). Anyone can report to the FTC and IC3.